I Feel Like 

“I feel like my heart is crumbling, my whole world is coming down …”

Is what my mother talking to my auntie said

Is it bad, then, that I walked away?

Turned around to blow my nose and shield my brain?

It’s like this almost everyday

And not to be a narcissist, but it’s surely about me

Yes, mom, I love you, too, but yeah, mom, I’m leaving as soon as that boom hits the fan

I’m awake in a cloud of anticipation

She wants me here or she says her world will fall

I’ve left before and look who came crawling back 

It was me, ambiguously and unfortunate  

“I know, I understand that …”

Was what I hear my auntie reply 

I closed my door behind me, shaking my head

Nothing can be said that ain’t been said

It’s like blood stains – it won’t go away 

No way to learn or to Rest In Peace

As long as I make money, “Buy me a house, please.”

Is what she’d say

She wants me or her heart will break

I’ll call and need help every step of the way

She’s got attachment issues which she gave to me

Now I’m scared to leave, but excited, too, to say the least

“I feel like my heart is crumbling, my whole world is falling down …”

Momma, this is good

Shit, say it proud

Your boy is heading off to be a man now


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